Self-Improvement And Self-Discovery During Quarantine


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Last February 2020, I weighed almost 190 kilos. I am a shorty at 5 feet four inches and super thick. In my mind back then, I didn’t care if my body was round and large. I was huge, super big, but because I had a husband who loved me, I let myself go. “His love is enough,” I gave myself that reasoning, but it all fell apart.

I was walking past this super cute boutique restaurant which was beside a tailor that my brother in law loved. It was a pricey place, but I wanted to give my husband something really nice for Valentine’s since it was also his birthday. The suit would have looked so great in him until I saw what I was meant to see. In that super cute boutique restaurant was my husband, feeding an older woman chocolate-covered strawberries on Valentine’s Lunch.

Wait a minute. I had to take a second look and make sure it was my husband. It was him, indeed. Was it just feeding strawberries? Hmmm… Oh, no. It wasn’t just feeding strawberries. By that second look, I was watching my husband of 20 years kissing a woman who is about 8 or 10 years our senior. And that crushed my heart.

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I went inside the restaurant, but I did not make a fuss. I mean, what for, right? I would just be embarrassing myself. She sure looked like a classy woman, definitely more mature, but she looked elegant—no wonder my husband liked kissing her.

“Hi, sweetheart.” He was startled when I came to them. “No need to introduce me to your OLD GIRLFRIEND. I saw everything, and I even have pictures and videos of you two kissing and feeding each other strawberries. Romantic.”

“Uhm, Em…” He was trying to say something, but I cut him. “Gerald, it’s okay. Here. I bought you a custom-made suit. Happy Birthday and Happy Valentines, sweetheart. Don’t come home.” I left him there with his mouth open and his head shaking. Of course, I told the old girlfriend, “Keep him. He’s not that good in bed, anyway.” I said that in a whisper.

It felt great having released the spicy words to my husband and his woman. But when I got home, it was the worst. The house was empty. It was dark, and I was all alone. I cried myself to sleep that night, and yeah, he didn’t come home.

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A few weeks after that, lockdown came due to COVID-19. My boss told my colleagues and me that our work would be done at home. I had so much time in my hands, and I needed to fill it up. My heart was still bleeding, and I also needed to move on. He made his choice. My husband cheated on me, and I told him never to face me again.

I started my road to self-improvement and self-discovery. The first stop was to lose weight. I had to eat right and work out as well. My first resort was to hire a personal trainer online to make a program for me and help me work out from home in the first month. After that, I knew how to do it myself. As for my meals, I had someone send me a 5-meal pack every day for a month too. These meal packs totaled 1800 calories, low carb, high protein, and veggies. My eating pattern was Intermittent Fasting from 12 noon to 8 in the evening.

It was a hard two months for me, but it was all worth it. When the lockdown was lifted, I lost about 10 kilos, and what’s more, I am determined to lose another 10 in the next two to three months.

My husband? It’s a permanent goodbye. I filed my divorce petition last week with the hopes that I will have a better life even without him.

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